The Last Thing Through My Mind , It'll Never Ever Through Again , This Is The Last , SWEAR !

I'm angry , i'm sad , i'm pissed off , pathetic . Why ? i'll tell yaa .

Yesterday , i've watched news on tv3 where Tuanku Mizal Zainal Abidin gave his speeches . I d k why suddenly i'm interested in such tv program , i sat properly on sofa and twisting the papers to make it turn to star , you know , the little stars which they puts in the bottle and use it for decorations , so that was i did . While the news was on the screen , suddenly i see my ex-father walked behind Tuanku Mizal Zainal Abidin with his very smart looking costume , obviously it's his job , and i knew it already as i'm not felt lil even shocked at all , but i'm angry ! All the little stars thrown up and the sofa messed with . I'm cursing him , i'm mad at him , yeahh he doesn't know at all as he's in the screen instead in front of me , means i'm the one who acting-super-angry but he's just acting-heavenly-happy , watta heck i'm doing -,- ! I was like 'aaaaaa ! papa jahat , papa jahat !' hahaha , dramatically -.- He cheated my mom . As we can see , man cannot be trust and we cannot trust any man , i don't really mind about that actually . However , i missed him , i missed kak Faten(his daughter , also my ex-step-sister) . I missed our time where we hang around together , laughed together and back to village together . Oh yeahh , i missed puding telur Opah . She always cooked it for me if i came to their house , it's my favorite and how lucky i am when someone as sweet as that old lady cooked me a favorite dessert in every time i came to . It's nice when we've our breakfast together , it's nice when kak Faten teased Irfan , it's nice when i shared my story with her , it's nice when we break the fast together , everything's nice , everything ! Till this horrid thingy happened , we lost our contact at all . And minutes ago , i'd sent something on kak faten's ym , i said that i miss her . Only now i have the strength to approach her as mama doesn't allow me to do that . Well , i did finally !

I'd read kak faten's blog , and she'll gone to Japan on next two weeks , i was like 'kakakkkk :( ' , i'm sad , but for what ? there's no bloody definite reasons to sad about this , it's very none of my business , it's her life not mine even i'm not in her life right now and will never ever again . and i'm never existed in her mind after all i guess . Well , fine then , i'll not thinking about these anymore , i'll just let my life move on unthinkingly these thingy again . I do have my own life . This is just memories , only memories , yeahhh . *sigh

kak Faten , i miss you no matter what .