I'm Friggin' Love braid Hairstyle

I NEED TO LEARN A LOT FOR MAKING MY HAIR TO BE LOOKED FANTASTIC WITH THESE BRAID HAIRSTYLES!

A Very Not Compatible Photo, blergh

I was on my way to go to downstairs, and then i heard a conversation between mama and Irfan which was fascinating me, i heard my lovely little brother said "kak Nana masak sedap, sedap sangat sangat walaupun kak nana masak makanan biasa je, mesti sedap!" and then mama "tipulah, sedap hapeeee!" and then irfan "eeee sedaplahhh!" Instead of going to downstairs, i trespassed mama's room and hugged Irfan tightly! haha, i love you kiddo :)

Errrrrr, today?

Aloha, i just got back from tuition, and i'm tired. Well today we got some special event, it was held at SUK building, i loved the Dikir Barat, i really loved it! The event took 5 hours but lucky cs it wasn't that really bored, the motivation segment was also fine, but again, i wanna make my statement strong that i really loved the Dikir Barat :) haha

I should get back to hostel this evening, but i asked mama to delay until it's tomorrow morning. Goddddd, i'm tired! Really had fun today, knew a lot of new friends, sang, laughs, run, walk, catching the bus and bla bla bla -.- It used a lot of energy whereas now i'm already lack of energy, i just want to sleep. But there's a lot of things i need to do, just yeah, updating this blog while also relaxing myself.

News! I'm putting on my weight! Blerghhhhh, i'm kinda chubby now -.- yuck! Well, diet time, dietttttttttttttt :O -.- huhhhh, end of, bayyeee

Babe, The Sun Came Out To See You

Awwhhhhh, good morning, now is 07.11 am, gotta take a bath and get ready to go to tuition that i'd mention last night. Minutes ago, when i awoke, i felt so much hungry, brrrrr, i need a breakfast today, yeah maybe usually i didn't take my breakfast, but i think i need it today.

Today, i'd plan to wear a floral design dress with skinny, and to wear high-heels.. i've to think it deeply hoho, no, but think so, but ummmm, no no no, but it's okay ay? BRRRRRRRRRRR, okaylah, i wanna have my bath now, and in a meanwhile, deciding to wear high-heels or not, blergh, ciaaaaossss! :)

Feelin' Better

I got tuition tomorrow and need to wake up earlier. Well, mom and i is just okay now, i just act like nothing happened. I feel like, dah lah, malas -.- So, here i am. I'm fine, i'm okay. And dodge myself from thinking bad and now, i need to be positive.

I'm hungry, i want to eat something sweet. I miss him but i have no idea where he is now as i called him many times and no answer. It's okay, maybe he's somewhere. Still we have tomorrows.

Oh God, i can't wait for my hair getting longer and longer! I was like "come on! be quick! be fast! don't be linger!" brrrrr, but there's no use says such things, cs hair is natural. I can't wait, i feels so impatient cs my hair is in a big curls and it looks fantastic (:

Just now, mom said "don't you ever think that marriage is a way to solve anything, it'd never solve anything, never!" Well, ummm, agreed with her, but i just get bored to see her like this, i want a new father that could idk, care about me too. It's not that i lack of attention, i just, idk, maybe it's bcs nowadays i don't really close with my biological daddy, so i feels like somehow i want a dad, orrrrrrrr! HAH! Goddddd, i think this the influenced i got from The Last Song story -.- haha, those who had watched it or read it, you guys must know why i said that i got influenced from The Last Song story. Kaylah, nak tidur, bye, xxo

FANTASTIC

AMAZING

AWESOME

GREAT

TERRIFIC

It's Bad When You Do Something Right, You Got Accused For Something Wrong

Hmmhhh, *sigh! Now, i feels like i just got recover from an illness though i didn't sick, err perhaps, i'd sick but not from that bullshit kind of headache, fever and bla bla, it was my heart that is attacked. I'm so vulnerable today, bcs of mama. Totally. I thought that we're already okay, and we're already fine, but seems like getting worse. I'm such a broken-hearted now.

Just today, i sobbed hardly, i sobbed so much, right after mama out. I love mama, and now, i'm dodging myself from hating her, i don't want it turn to be like that, but idk when will she stop from doing something like this to me. She give no tolerance. Ego? Or what? Whatever, idk! I have no idea what's wrong with her, mama's too negative. I don't wanna be brag, but please, i always try to be a good daughter, and i want to be a good daughter. But with this shit she gave to me, idk if i could be.

I missed my dad today, so i decided to phone him, i wanna talk to him, wanna ask hows he feels nowadays, i just missed him. Yeah, even though he had done something hurting too, still.. hm. Okay, i admit, i care about him. So, i dialed his number, and he picked up. Started with "hello" and then i asked "abah buat apa? sihat? Damia mana?" Oh, Damia is my very cute little sister. Then he brought up something that's totally not true. "Sabtu lepas kamu pergi mana? Ada keluar dengan lelaki?" I was shocked! What the hell is this? I said "demi Allah, nana tak bah" then "habis mama kata kamu kelaur dgn lelaki?!" then i saw mama, mama was not that far away from me, she heard everything, then i said "demi Allah nana tak bah, nana pergi tasik, jalan sorang sorang, mama tuduh tuduh je!" and then my dad, "haaaaa, kamu jangan buat something yang tak berfaedah nana, jaga diri elok elok, SPM dah dekat, belajar dulu" then i said "okay abah"

I throw the phone on mama's bed and mama was there. I said "menyesal je call abah, tak pasal pasal kena tuduh!" then she ignored me and made joke with my brother, Irfan. Sakitnya hati! Then i went downstairs with angers that was fulfilling my heart. After seconds, mama too, went downstairs, said goodbye to Irfan. I said, "sedap je buat spekulasi sendiri" i don't care if the way i talked is rude or what, there's no more good to talk nicely. Then she said "yelah, keluar tak bagitahu, buat mama macam tunggul" grrrrr! "mama yg buat nana mcm tunggul! Nana betul betul penat masa tu(my voice started to sound tremble), bukannya sengaja. Semua nak perfect! Tak pernah nak faham langsung" Then i got myself away from her, i went to kitchen and hide myself. I heard the sound of her car roaring, sign of she'd gone. From standing, i felt weak and sat on the floor while sobbing so bad and so hard. I sobbed for maybe 30minutes? Then i got tired and fall asleep.

On that day, i was planning to go out with my friends and they're all boys, i was being honest with mama when i asking the permission. And it was granted by mama. Also, before this, no matter where i go, i'd being really honest, even if i had a date with a boy, for sure i'd tell her. And she was really okay with it. NOW! Why need her to tell my dad like that? For the revenge that i went out to somewhere near to look for the peace without a permission? Is that all? What's wrong with you mama! *a bad frowning on my forehead! And after she reported that so not true thingy to my dad, she treated me so nicely, means that, being hypocrite! Erghhh. I felt regret says sorry -.- I'm so pissed off now, dah lah, bye

Wrong Expectations of Mine

:) Good morning. Hm, fyi, i just got recover from a very bad fever. But still yeah, it's not that fully or 100% i'm in recover, still i'm feelin' the feverish though. Well never mind, at least now i'm feeling better than before :)

Lately, too many problems bombarding my life. I think, i'm strong? No, i don't know, i can't even judge it. However, there's some sweets in my bitters. Thanks Allah. Yeah, maybe sometimes i cry, but it's just a way to let go of the painfulness. Always, when the tears dried, then only i feel i'm on the land, finally kan. 

Errr, right now, i can feel my body temperature increasing, eeeeee, i ate medicines dah lah! Why still demam ni -.-? Last night, i felt that i'm healthy already, just a lil bit flu, and i thought that my ill gonna be end if my flu gone, but the fever is coming back! Pfffffttt! Saja je kan, ee.

It's been 3days i'm on leave, i can't help it though. This fever, brrrrrr. Lets recall, on Tuesday night to be exact, pergh, it was the awful night ever! I think, my body temperature was more than 40C degree! And the most terrible is, i can't sleep at all because i was having an effing horrid headache and plus, vomit! And satu badan lenguh! I couldn't even move my legs.Whoever touched my body, they got surprised and startled. I still remember, they was like "Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku , PANAS GILAAAAAAAAA" And i, i was just kept moaning in a pain.

Dahlah, all the things i wrote above, i think soon is gonna happen again as now i can feel the headache and my body temperature increasing. Bye

UNEXPLAINABLE :(

done

(Y)

Now and Future

Aloooha! Can i just abandon the intro here? Kay, lately, i don't really study. Just this week, i'd been in hostel just for 3 days, i was happy of course. And yeah shame, still, even just for 3 days, i felt the homesick -,- gah haha I don't really study as i'd keep myself away from classes, i took much counseling sessions, but trust me, it's worth it. And, a person like me, likes to think much. I think much lately, it's like a bulk of things i need to think about. Somehow i know i just can abandon it and let my mind free but hehe i love thinking. Know what? I've been asking my counselor, "is that i'm a trouble kid just bcs i love to have the counselling sessions?" then she said "no, love, it's not. Why? Have your friends talked about it?" I said "yeahhh, i felt somehow low and down, because anytime i got back from here, they'll asking me where have i gone? And when i tell the truth, they'll say like, are you in trouble so much? Too many problems huh? Gosh, it's killin' me inside teacher. With the way they're looking at me. It's just i love to see the counselors, sharing opinions, asking for opinions, help me with the decisions which is better for me, and so on. That's all, yeah of course, when i do have problems, i'll tell to you too, of course, and i think, this is the best way as you guys will give me the best opinions and you guys are experiences and certificated! Am i right?" then teacher said "yes love yes, that's bloody truth. Just let them be, don't think about what they says. And you must know, even the excellent student may also come to meet persons like us, asking for the opinions, just like you" then i shaped smile and was relieve. So shut the fuck up of your mouth bitches, it's very none of your business if i'm taking a counseling session, don't be brag that you guys can handle your problems by your own, you may not, who knows?

Kay then, 3 days in hostel, i'd been so silent with the folks in the hostel but excepted in the school :) I dunno, whenever i got back to hostel, i felt so lifeless, seriously. 3 days in hostel, filled with my tears. My heart was empty as he gone, as we're not together anymore, but thanks Allah, you gave me such a greatest mother in the world. She listened to me, she understood me, she knows how i feels like, she called me and said "okay love, you can cry, you always can cry, just let it all out now. Don't worry, i will always be by your side, you always have me, i love you, okay love?" and then, my world get better and better, until now. Thanks mama, i love you so much. Without you, i dunno what'll happened to me. And just because of that short moment, i starts to think, who'll taking care of her when she's older and older, who? I don't wanna her be alone, i will, i dunno, but now, i'm planning with my future. And in the future, i want her to stay with me, until the last day of her. I really want her to be by my side, like every seconds, every minutes, and every days. There's nothing more could makes me feels happy and peace, seeing her face, her smiles, her... everything. Mama? My very precious someone, my mother, me beloved, my best friend forever.

Well, planning the future? Sort of. hmm, i've been thinking about it lately. I think i know what i'm gonna be. I'll have three careers, fashion designer, business woman and a lecturer. That's what i thought. Okay, lemme explain it to you, how it perhaps gonna be like..

After i finished the SPM, i will taking a class for my skill in designing the fashions thingy yeah. Maybe, it'll takes 6 months, it's worth i think. And at the same time, i'll chase for the certification in the fashion designer course. Day by day, i'll create my own collections. And when i think it's enough or the right time is coming, i will spread to people about my fantastic creations and open up a boutique, then work and be struggle for it. Know what? hihi, i've already idea for my boutique and my brands name, it will be Zeeway's Fashionista, haha what do you think? :P wek kay i'm somehow feelin' shy now haha dah dah. After all, gain a lot of benefits and money, live with my mom of course and after years, i should be pro in this career, so i'll make a one more step, be a lecturer, surely for fashion designer course. Then taraaaaa!

Haha yeah, and i've talked about this with Mama when we had lunch today, and she was just quiet and no response at all. Kayyyyyy. I can see it. She doesn't really likes my planning, then i dunno how. I know, mama want me to be in a professional career, you know, doctor, chemical engineer, and sort of, but mama, it's just not my soul. I know, i really know, you want people around you see what your daughter have made, an educated person is your daughter. But mama, it will be nothing, just nothing if i can't do it. I'm an artistic person, i got 28/30 for the artistic segment! It's my blood, even, my dad, used to be an artist. My aunt, also, an artist. Goshh, but yeah, i don't wanna let you down mama. Kay now, brrrr i'm stress a lil bit haha :p I asked for opinions and advices from my ex-senior, and he said that i should focus on my SPM first, i can think about this later, yeah, he's true, kay end of this now.

SPM? I can't believe it, i'm listed in the first group for target A+ in SPM, i feels like, i don't deserve it. There's lot of more better persons, but seriously, thanks Ya Allah, it would help me! Since teachers and school trusting me for it, then i'm gonna do it, i'll try even harder, i'll give the best! I told mama about this, and she was happy and proud, haha andddd yeah, more reason of not letting people down with me. Gahhh, 9A+! Come here baby, come to me, stick with me! haha, okaylah, panjang gila tulis hahahaha, kbaiiiii, wish me luck people!